Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
