This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize