im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
