I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
