I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
