Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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