Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize