Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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