I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
