I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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