So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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