That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
