i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
