Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize