How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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