You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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