I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize