I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
