So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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