you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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