What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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