after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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