The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
