She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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