There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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