this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize