I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
COCAINE IS GR8
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
