I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
