Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
