Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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