Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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