cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
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They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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