butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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