so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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