It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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