just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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