so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
