so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
