2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
