I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
