I wish I could teleport
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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