I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
