Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
