the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Someone shattered a urinal.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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