yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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