I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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