Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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