we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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