kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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