i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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