super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
you never un-have a 4some
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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