i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
