im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
