We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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