If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
