Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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