My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
