Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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