After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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