He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
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tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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