there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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