So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
