So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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